Tuesday, July 25, 2006

BEWARE OF CHIMERA ENTERPRISES

DeWolff, Boberg & Associates

296 comments:

  1. OK GUYS, THIS DEWOLFF BOBERG AND ASSOCIATES OTHERWISE KNOWN AS DBA THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS YOU WILL LEARN QUITE A BIT IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME BUT YOU WILL DO SO BY WORKING 60 TO 75 HOURS A WEEK AVERAGE FOR THE STARTING SALARY OF 39K PER YEAR. THIS SLARY DOES NOT CHANGE UNTIL YOU REACH THE LEVEL OF PROJECT MANAGER. ONCE YOU REACH PM THE SALARY GOES UP 100.00 PER WEEK. THE AVERAGE TIME TO BECOME A PM WILL TAKE 5 YEARS TO REACH A CHIEF WHERE YOU CAN START MAKING A LIVING IS 12 TO 15 YEARS AND SR CHIEF WELL DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT UNLES YOU YOU HAVE 20 YRS OR SO. NOW IN FAIRNESS YOU DO START EARNING A BONUS AT LEVEL H STAFF. YOU CAN BUY ALOT WITH THAT 500.00. THE STAFF LEVELS START AT THE N LEVEL. BENEFITS WELL YOU GET THE 30.00 PER DAY PER DEIM WHICH IS WAY BELOW AVERAGE. YOU GET KNOW SHORT TERM DISSABILITY SO DONT GET INJURED OR YOU WILL BE BROKE. "MAJOR DOWNER" YOU WILL TRAVEL EACH WEEK ON SUNDAYS AND FRIDAY AFTERNOONS. YOU CAN FLY HOME TO ANYWHERE ON FRIDAYS WITH PRIOR APROVAL BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE DIFFERENCE. YOU ARE ONLY ALLOWED THE LOWEST PRICE ADVERTISED TO TRAVEL ON THOUGH EVEN IF THE TICKET ADVERTISED IS NOT AVAILABLE THIS IS STILL YOUR PRICE ALLOWED. CREDIT CARD YOU MUST HAVE YOUR OWN AND ONE THAT WILL COVER RENTAL CAR INSURANCE AS YOU WILL RENT BUT ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PAY FOR RENTAL INSURANCE. "NOT REIMBERSIBLE" YOU WILL NEED AT LEAST 2500.00 WORTH OF ROOM PER MONTH ON YOUR CARD AS WELL TO SURVIVE BEFORE BEING REIMBURSED.
    BREAKS- YOU WILL GET A 30 MINUTE LUNCH BUT THATS ABOUT IT YOU WILL BE POUNDING THE FLOOR THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY. THE COMPANY DOES HAVE A RECRUITER WHICH IS Chimera Enterprises Inc. LOCATED IN TX.
    CHIMERA WILL TELL YOU YOU WILL ADVANCE QUICK IN WHICH YOU COULD IN THE LATE 80'S EARLY 90'S BUT THE COMPANY HAS CHANGED AND IS NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE. SR. MANAGEMENT KNOWS OF THE FALSE ADVERTISING BUT SAY WE CAN NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT IS SAID TO POTENTIAL EMPLOYEES. ON AVERAGE I WOULD SAY THAT 60% QUIT WITHIN THE 1ST 90 DAYS AND 80% WITHIN THE FIRST 6 MONTHS. ONCE TAKING THIS JOB YOU WILL NOT HAVE TIME TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB WELL ESPECIALLY FOR AN INTERVIEW.

    JOB SEEKER BEWARE

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  6. Dewolffboberg
    I worked there for about 4 months and I agree it is hard long work for the pay or lack there of.
    When I was hired I interviewed with Chimera also then with a Chief of DBA. I was never told upfront that you could only advance a grade level at the end of each quarter and then only if the space was available to move up. Only so many spots are available at each grade. Chimera only tells you 1/2 truths. When I told the project manager what Chimera said on how much I would make he laughed and said yes thats what we tell everybody but in real life plan on making the lesser of 40,000 the first year and maybe 45,000 the 2nd. I could not afford the insurance for my child on this or my child support.
    I am now working at McDonalds as a fry guy with a part time job at the Wal-Mart. I make as much money or more now with the same hours I was working at DBA.
    I wish I would have never quit my job with GE based on the lies from Chimera.

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  7. QUOTE- I could not afford the insurance for my child on this or my child support.

    i have been offered a job with dewolffe and i was wanting to know if anyone has info on what benefits are really offered. they say they have insurance but what kind? is it just health? 401K offered to employees? how much do they match on the 401k? I understand i have to have a credit card to be able to rent a car do i have to provide insurance for it? will it be my own car to drive or will others be with me? what if someone else wrecks it will i be responsible? i have a wife that does not work will i be able to provide for her with this salary? i need to make at least as much as i make now as a recreation supervisor soon. i am now making 52,328.00 my insurance which is blue cross is covered but i have to pay 62.00 month for my wife with 20.00 copays 1000 deductible for family plan and 10.00 prescriptions.

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  8. Quote- Chimera Enterprises is the hiring agent for DeWolff, Boberg & Associates. If you see their ads on monster.com, hotjobs.com, or careerbuilder.com....DO NOT APPLY!!! This company was the worst experience of my life. It has ruined the lives of 100's of good people whom I hope will all chime in to let you know how the false promises of a great career were nowhere to be found!!!
    MORE TO COME!
    posted by dewolffbobergscrewedme

    Please explain in detail.

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  9. I WORK FOR DBA AND I SEE THERE IS SOME IGNORANT PEOPLE OUT HERE POSTING. DBA IS A GOOD COMPANY TO WORK FOR YES YOU HAVE TO SURVIVR THE FIRST 2 YEARS BUT IT IS WORTH THE WAIT EVEN IF YOU DO HAVE TO GIVE UP THAT EXTRA BEER OR YOUR CAR TO DO SO. MAYBE EVEN YOUR HOUSE AND WIFE. INSURANCE WHY DOES IT MATTER ARE YOU PLANNING TO BE INJURED OR SICK? DBA IS IN A GROWING PHASE RIGHT NOW SO MAYBE YOU COULD MOVE UP A BIT QUICKER. HOW MUCH COULD YOU POSIBLY LOSE IN 2 YEARS? DO YOU HAVE GOOD CREDIT IN WHICH MAY HELP YOU LIVE UNTIL YOU MAKE THE MONEY? THIS IS WHAT I HAD TO DO. IF SO THEN USE IT IF YOU CANT PAY IT BACK UNTIL YOU MAKE MORE SO BE IT. JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU CLEAN IT BACK UP AND GET YOUR SCORE POSITIVE BEFORE APPLYING FOR YOUR SECURITY CLEARANCE IF YOU NEED ONE. AT LEAST YOU WILL LEARN SOMETHING.

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  10. I HAVE WORKED FOR DEWOLFFBOBERG FOR AWHILE NOW. I ALMOST QUIT MY FIRST WEEK BECAUSE OF THE PRESURE PUT ON ME BY THE SENIOR STAFF AND THE PM. THEY WORK OFF A HIGHARCHY PRINCIPLE. AS SOON AS I GET MY SIGNING BONUS IN OCTOBER I AM OUT OF HERE. I WAS THINKING OF STAYING BUT I REALIZED THAT I WILL MAKE NO MORE NEXT YEAR THEN I MAKE THIS YEAR.

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  12. Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not workahaulics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children.

    Would it be better to get a minimum wage job and get on welfare?

    I did not go to school to not make enough money to live.

    Could someone show me a budget on this 39K salary? Family of 3 800.00 rent, utilities 198.00, groceries 300.00, gas depending on the day 140.00 month, auto, health, house, life and disability insurance 292.00. School items, clothes, toiletries and family entertainment 175.00. DR. Bills and scripts 160.00 month. any accidentals and auto up keep $$$$?

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  13. This would be an OK job for someone that is fresh out of college. But for seasoned managers in which you are required to be it is unreasonable to believe that they would stay for any length of time. If one is retired or wealthy this may be the exception. I noticed someone in the posts stated $35.00 Per Diem for meals and incidental expenses (M&IE) the actual allowed for DBA is only $30.00. Many of the consulting firms that are the same type of consultants as we with DBA are paid $50.00 to $54.00. Just a small change such as this would make a huge difference for the new comer as well as senior members. We will eventually be detrimental to ourselves and will have hired all the job seekers that are available. Eventually our installations and professionalism will begin to suffer and overall our clients. Only then will we realize a change is good and overdue. I can only hope it will not be late for the staff or the company.

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  14. "AssKissinChicken"
    LOL- Are you trying to tell us that YOU kissed lots of as to receive your ranking? What is your Rank?

    It is true this is a must especially with new PM'S but I would not admit to it.

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  15. I am a dba wife. I must tell you that since my husband has been working for the company we have had are ups and downs. During his first year or so he being the bread winner was just not enough. I could not say anything about his decision to join Dewolff Boberg be cause I encouraged him so. With all the promises the recruiter had told us in which we trusted who would have thought of the heartache that would come. I having little to no formal education I felt after 6 months my hands were tied and my husband was not going to be getting a raise anytime soon. I found the only way I could help with extra $ was to start presenting favors at which I would receive a gift for each favor I did. I had to do this a couple of times a week in order for us to keep a residence. Now that he is receiving a bonus I only force myself to do this at about the midway point in between. I have never told anyone about this with the exception of my favorees. The only reason I have put this out there is I can only hope I can save you from this pain and if I save just one person my work will have been done.
    Ashamed

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  16. Here is the address to have all your questions properly answered all others are just hearsay.

    www.dewolffboberg.com

    admin@dewolffboberg.com

    jobs@dewolffboberg.com

    contact@dewolffboberg.com

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  17. We all know we do not take the job for the money in the beginning. We all have to do with out from the start but we believe if we hold on the reward will be worth it. If you do take it for just the money especially for the first 2 years then you are indeed a fool. If you have a savings or at minimum 2 incomes, willing to put in the hard work with long hours, make 25% less $ than a fast food managers salary for the first few years, you should rest assured you will make the promised big $. When it comes to the analyses part of it all you must ask yourself is it really worth all of this. This is the only time that I question myself. Even the senior employees do not get any respect from most of the PAs or AMs. PAs (Presenting analyst) believe they are the most important part of the DBA process and operations (The associates or staff) are just a necessary evil. Although it is the staff that gathers and identifies all the required information then it is up to us operations to fix the problems found. Meanwhile the PAs or AMs are off treating other staff like they are the worthless. This will be difficult to feel belittled after busting your ass for a minimum of 18 hours per day (for the new guys). A new employee can plan on averaging 12.45 an hour for the first year and 13.79 the 2nd year. During each week of analyses plan on making 8.30 thru 9.20 an hour if you are lucky.

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  18. Has anyone thought of volunteering for analysis? I believe the analysis managers have more time off during the year. Could I volunteer to be solely on analysis? Do analysis managers receive the bonus off of if they get a go ahead for the job? Can I be an analysis employee and be paid the same way by being paid bonus off if we get a go ahead? George S. May Company has openings for a position that sounds similar to this in which I have an interview next week. Has anyone worked for this company?

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  19. What would it take for management to see the dire straits that we have come to see? If we went public would this help open eyes? What if we went directly to Lou? At very least the lies must stop during the interviewing process. This should be considered of fraud and there should be a law against promising and not delivering. The sad thing is DBA managers know what their hiring agent is telling prospective new hires. Hell it is right in the advertisement. Let’s talk of this new hire bonus that has been rolled out why did it not include the mid level? Now you have new hires making more money then some mid grade persons. I do not blame these mid grades for walking after putting in the time and then being spit on. I was once a hopeful now just looking to move on.

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  20. I believe the only way that we can stop all of this analysis bull of killing us for the week period would be as follows. This needs to be a two or three week process.
    1. We all need to stick together.
    2. Start producing “bad studies” meaning overstating the operating problems found.
    3. Become rude “an Ass” to the possible clients after day three once you are sleep deprived.
    4. Set a cut-off time that after 12 hours of work you are finished and carry over the deliverables to the next day.
    5. After five straight hours start filling out your study so you will be finished within 10 hours and find nothing after hour five.

    We do not get any extra pay for this and should not be subjected to this type of punishment. We can all make better money elsewhere with fewer hours. 8.33hr just don’t get it. They will continue to walk all over us until we make it come to a stop by attacking this right in the wallet. This could be considered slave labor.

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  22. With the new TSA rules of being unable to carry on liquids and the DBA rules of not being allowed to check a bag our weekly cost of living will rise to purchase these items. The price of gas continues to rise that also raises the price of cab fare in which the $10.00 will not cover anymore or try using the parking facilities at the airport with your $20.00 total allowed.
    in·di·gent
    Archaic. Lacking or deficient.
    noun
    A needy or destitute person

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  23. I tried and after this week I will no longer be able to afford to work here. I'm not able to hold on until October for the bonus but I have run out of money. I will not be able to afford the hotel.
    Sorry I have no money to offer as for the AD at this time.

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  25. NOW THAT’S FUNNY!!!!!!
    So tell me this if the recruiter promises you 80K within 2 years and now you see the lies and you want to look for a job how can one interview with other companies with this schedule? I doubt Lee even knows of this site. I am sure we will cross paths in the near future.
    PS. Stay avoid the Anal Team.

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  26. Interviewing at DBA is hard but not impossible. Most companies will conduct phone interviews for the initial screen; let them know your situation and most likely they will work with you on a late Friday or Saturday interview. Remember to always keep in touch with a few clients becasue they will make the best references.
    Making 80k in 2 years is not likely, but it has happened. Think more about being promoted within 30 to 36 months (that is if business is doing well). Here is some advice for job seekers:
    * Keep specific notes on accomplishments (measurable) and include some on your resume. Be able to talk to them in an interview
    * Understand all of the lean manufacturing terminology. Understand SMED, line balancing, 5 Why, 5S, Observations, RE's, visual boards, etc.
    * be able to articulate how a culture is changed (it is not following the supervisor all day that gets the change; it is not the fact that you have a DSC in place that gets you savings or improvements).

    DBA has a great tool in the passport...too bad that only a few could really train you on it. Most of the PMs and Chiefs wouldn't be able to. For example, ask your PM to expalin a histogram (if he/she does not mention the word "standard deviation", then they have no clue. Ask about SPC, do they know that the upper and lower limits are calculated?

    Here is a favorite analysis discussion:
    Client: "Does DBA utilize Six Sigma tools?"
    DBA: "Yes we do, we have a similar approach"
    Client: "So you use the DMAIC approach"
    DBA: "Sure" ...thinking "how does this client know that DMAIC stands for "DeWolff Must Attract Incoming Cash".

    (DMAIC = Define, Measure, Analyze, Implement, Control)

    I would bet that Lee or others look at this site, they are too paranoid not to!

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  27. Several COO level managers have said- We keep the pay low so that you will stay hungry wanting the next step up. Well hell I believe that it is actually not Hungry but Starvation for you and your family. There is a difference in being Hungry and Starvation.

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  30. I agree that some of the AMs are better than others, I guess they have their bad days as well. As for why they put so much emphasis on the first week is an easy question; it is $$$$. The 1st week of analysis is free to the client. They treat you like shit because they all think they are so smart. Some of the people on the analysis ended up there because they were such assholes that they could not manage a client or a project (except for Freely, I hear he was a good PM). Bell is also clueless!
    We could rank the PMs but people view PMs so diferenty that I am not sure we could agree. I know we have some incompetent ones and we have also lost a few good ones.
    Haven't heard about the exodus in October, but that is an old story! Whenever bonuses hit we see good (and bad) people go.
    Put a PM's name in and we can rate them on a scale of 1 to 5 (5 being good).

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  31. What is a hair farmer?????

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  33. hair farmer

    A member of a heavy-metal band, usually in the 1980s. The look is primarily characterized by a large amount of hair (normally blond), secondarily by donning spandex and studded leather jackets

    Most members of these bands, among others: Whitesnake, Poison, Motley Crue, Warrant.

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  34. I was thinking about ranking the PMs...but it is possible that I am one! Anyway, I find it more fun to talk about some of the shit heads we have for chiefs. I think the expression "too many chiefs, not enough indians" came from the consulting world. Think about it. The chiefs have the power to control your world! Ok, That was too deep.
    Here is the ranking system: I base it on personality, knowledge, compassion, shows up to work on Sunday nights, ability to play solitaire in the birdroom (hey Michael, that does happen a lot. I think you should require chiefs to bring their laptops to the chief's meeting so that you can inspect how much time they log in playing games. That would be easier if you actually PAID for the laptops!), how they dress, if they actually know the names of the staff, if they buy dinner once in a while (let's not get me started on the per diem bullshit...), if they show up at work before 10 am and don't leave before 3pm, and one last thing, please don't tell us how big your boat is (Michael) or how much your wife spent on wallpaper.
    My first victim is Brian Phillips. We all know he scores 0 on personality. Would anyone like to comment? He also has some serious problems in understanding the difference between right and wrong. Someone please tell him to shave that mustache and get some clothes. He also needs to learn to keep his stupid opinions to himself. The sad thing about him is that he thinks he is funny... sad, so sad!
    That said, there are a few good chiefs out there. Hopefully the little asian guy will not chase them all away.

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  36. I accepted the job offer and thought I would tell everyone what I found so far. Maybe this will help new people decide. I did not get much feedback from my earlier posts.

    1. You must have your own laptop. Interviewing I was told this was not needed but that is quite a load of crap. Mr. Fletch why would they lie about this?
    2. Plan on working 12 to 14 hours daily and you will have work to do in your hotel room.
    3. All staff speaks about analysis and everyone even the PM states it is absolutely horrible in fact a nightmare.
    4. You rent cars in which everyone shares 5 to 6 people to a vehicle depending on the size. If you rent and someone else wrecks it is the renter’s responsibility to pay for. You have no choice but to let everyone drive your rental.
    5. Weekly you have to write a report called a staff report or an associate report. This report must be done offsite at the hotel on your own time on your own computer. The report is about the week what your clients are doing, accomplished, problems, concerns and plans for next week. Once you write it you will be told to rewrite it and leave parts out or add to it.
    6. Vouchers these must also be done offsite at the hotel on your own time on your own computer. Save your receipts you will need them to be reimbursed. Please tell me how you do not need your own.
    7. The hotel is not that great in fact is cheap. After a long days work I would rather have a nice safe place to wind down.
    8. Insurance while there is a plan for both health and dental they are not great and family is very expensive. Don’t seem to be any short term insurance so if you get sick or injured you might be in trouble if you do not have a nest egg saved up.
    9. To become a PM plan on at least for years not the two you are told.

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  37. Hey "I Want my $2.00":
    Thanks for your candid view on Brian Phillips, the chiefs, and the little asian guy.
    I want to comment on all the stuff you wrote, it is good; but first I'm going to let you cool down a bit. No job, and especially this one, are worth all that grief.
    I'm trying to think of the last chief I saw work 3 hours on client related stuff...can someone help me? Chiefs do not go out on the floor because those people (the clients) are so below them; someone might question why it is necessary to have an hourly DSC when bi-hourly would do. Shit, someone might as them about an histogram (oh shit...what in the hell is that?). You see, a chief cannot be made a fool in front of the client or staff.
    DBA will eventually fail. People like ourselves will use technology to broadcast why DBA and others like them are bad for employees and clients. DBA will also fail because of the greed that is at the top.
    Up until now, clients have done "DBA" searches on Google and have found the famous Rexnord lawsuit. Do you know who the chief was on that project? It was the little asian guy. Do you also know that Rexnord won the initail suit... but the little asian guy has his pride and helped make the decision to appeal. That was real smart because Rexnord ended up costing the company 3 times more than the original judgement. Needless to say that our great management decided to reduce the quartery bonuses bacause of that. They use to say that the bonuses would "come up" with better performance, that was a lie. I know that share values at some point 5 to 7 years ago was $300 a share. At that same time bonuses for "A" staff were $10,000 and "A" PMs were $14,000. Now in 2006 the share value has tripled but nothing has happened to the bonus level.
    DBA management: STOP LYING ABOUT IT BEING BONUSED BASED, IT IS ONLY DEFERRED SALARY. This is about as bad as as your piss poor per diem of $30 per day.
    DBA management: You should start worrying about posts like this one. You will no longer have the opportunity to sucker someone in and abuse the shit out of them before they find out the truth about YOU!
    GREED will eat you up.

    Food for thought:
    * smart PM + smart employee = profit
    * smart PM + dumb employe = production
    * dumb PM + smart employee = promotion
    * dumb PM + dumb employee = overtime

    There is no reason for you to work several hours in your hotel room!

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  39. Newbie,
    They lie about everything. YOU NEED A LAPTOP TO FUNCTION ON THIS JOB.

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  41. Brian,
    This is now my 5th project and during only 1 of them did I not have much work brought back home or the hotel. And yes I wish they would stop Lying about everything I mean even the small things are lied about. Yes you must have a laptop and the bonus is just the way that you the employee finance your own salary. This leaves your money in the bank to draw interest and allows them to have the available cash. Look at how heavy your bonus is taxed compared to your weekly salary also. What happens if you leave a week before the quarter is over. Where does your money go then? You are not going to get it but the chiefs will divide it up.

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  42. I would like to take a vote. Is it true that 90% of the employees quit because of the travel?



    I do not see this being the case.
    I would like to know what I am getting myself into. While I have the opportunity to go back to my previous employer.

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  43. Nope maybe 10% = Travel

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  45. I am a prospecyive employee, does anyone know specifics on Steven Janik (V.P. of government sector)or Bill Leahy (director of H.R.). Janik could not answer some of my questions and directed me to Steve Breault. Is he one of the kissasses I keep hearing about.

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  48. Today I was told that my grammar sucked...sorry! It is just "hard" to watch for my spelling and grammar after a 12 to 14 hour day trying to make a client believe in a savings eval and trying to train people that have more experience at McDonald's. Most chiefs can't spell, so I don't think it will hold me back. What would hold me back, is a lack of ego and greed!
    Maybe someone will offer to proof my stuff before I post. I would ask the little asian guy but his is no better than mine.

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  49. Confused,
    I'll try to give you the scoop on those guys. Janik is a Mike Owens on steroids, but he is overall a good guy. He is driven and will work you to death, but is fair and honest. Steve Breault is ok, he just talks too much, has a fair ego, and is pretty knowledgeable as far as I know. Bill Leahy looks out for himself, he's ok, but never has a clue on what is happening. I know more about his HR role than he does (and I have only been around for .....).
    Did you interview with them? How did they describe the job and the company?

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  50. I don't understand why the little asian guy and the polish guy are so upset about this blog. We are just spreading the "truth"; no lies or deceptions here.
    Let me know if you want to buy out my publishing rights! Ha ha

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  51. Hi all,
    Sorry it has been so long I have been on vacation or should I say (on my own time on the beach) Well I have been thinking of the per deim situation and how much I actually spend. I figure that with breakfast when none is provided at the hotel 7.00 lunch $10.00 and dinner I spend 10:00 to 15:00 average. You might spend less if you are a short skinny guy. This all changes when forced fun is in the mix or when you are in another country or a higher cost of living city then the costs go up. If there is no cafeteria or restaurants around the job site and you have to buy each day from a convenient store also you will lose a bit of money. If you have any coffee there it goes again. Well what about the 10:00 parking or Taxi. Let me ask you when was the last time that you spent 20.00 for a weeks worth of parking? So you must use at least an additional $5.00 daily from your per deim to cover your parking if you are at a low cost airport. My cost is 12.00 per day. And no matter what I always get charged for an extra day because I arrive 1.5 hrs late then the 5 day rate becomes a 6 dayrate this makes my bill $72.00 per week and I am allowed 20.00. So why not just take a taxi you say. I live 40 minutes from the airport and by the time I take a taxi $34.90 each way I might as well have my car there waiting on me for the extra $2.20. Out of that $30.00 daily allowance you should also add the postage for sending your vouchers to RLDA since it is policy that you must do this at your own expense. (I could see this if you were on the beach) but not when you are all at a job site where everyone’s could be sent in at once for one price. Don’t forget all your liquid supplies that you are now buying to replace what you can not carry on the plane anymore. So even if one does not eat the $30.00 daily allowance it is easily spent on other consumable items plus some. So how much is left out of your $30.00? I forgot about the long distance phone calls to your home to check on your wife and kids or your cell phone that must also come out of your $30.00. Most companies allow you to expense 1 phone call per day but it must come out of your daily allowance here. Has anyone heard of inflation?

    Inflation

    The rate at which the general level of prices for goods and services is rising, and, subsequently, purchasing power is falling.
    Inflaation Calculator = What cost $30.00 in 1987 would cost $50.43 in 2005.

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  52. Same thinking for the bonus level. They have stayed the same, or gone down over the last few years as the shareholder stock value went up. The shareholders understand inflation for themselves. They don't give a shit about the rest of us.
    Is it true that Leon resigned?

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  53. Seems no one has anything more to say about the lovely life at DBA. I guess you are all happy!

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  54. Found out today that a select group of staff, and all of the project managers are taking part in a survey in the next couple of weeks? Any idea on what they survey entails? Why certain staff was chosen to take it?

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  55. I read all of this negative stuff about DBA, and I thought I would chime in with some positive. Who knows if anyone reads this anymore anyways. During my two years at DBA, I worked with some of the most intelligent, interesting, and certainly intense people I have ever met. Just for a bit of background, I worked for two years and when I left, I was a D staff (for those who are familiar with the company). I was on eight analysees (sp) or so and about 7 projects. One of my favorite PM's would always tell the green peas who would bitch and whine, life is all about choices, and if you don't like the situation, get a new job. If you take this job, you will learn more in a month than you would in a year managing ten people in some warehouse somewhere. As for the pay, yes, it is low at first, but if you are smart you will move up. I respect and understand all of these posts concerning the negative, as some are true to varying degrees, but I will tell you this...I have been gone for two years now and I still sometimes long for the pressure and the excitement of the job...even analysis. As for the top guys in the company, Lou and Leon seemed helpful in the few interactions I had with them, but I can't speak intelligently about the rest. As for what the earlier person said about Mcneley (AM), he is certainly unique, but I got more out of talking to him for 10 minutes than anyone I deal with in my current job. I understand all of these thoughts are rambling and somwhat poorly transitioned, and if any on here have worked with me at dba, you know I could give two shits about kissing ass. Good luck to all who are new to DBA, and to those who are still there, sometimes you need to vent, that's cool, but get your ass up tommorrow and go get your numbers...

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  56. Something I find interesting about the last post and things I hear from others that have been here for awhile. “Go get your numbers”. My PM has said on many occasions that we are not responsible for the clients’ numbers. Granted all of us that have been hired over the last six months seem to have been told the same on our project. I hear the others talking about what it is going to take and strategies to get the numbers they need. They have all (staff) have told me that they are accountable for each of their clients’ numbers. Am I responsible for my clients’ numbers or are all the new hires relinquished from these responsibilities? If I am not tell me why it is on my PIP? Or will it be taken off for us new associates? May I create a new PIP to be fair and take it off mine and for the other newbies?

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  57. One more thing,
    I have heard that DBA is going through a change concerning the new hires. That the company used to be real challenging for many DBA associates and now with all of us there has been no yelling or screaming no sanctions or anything. Are they just using us to get through, then the real beast is going to come out? Seems like everyone is on the floor but for some of the newest hires they have spent several months not doing anything. I was on the floor my first week. It seems the company has been changing the short time that I have been here. It is kind of frightening. What is going on and what may I expect?

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  58. Fletch,
    Nope I always have something to say. However things have been hitting hard around home. Everyone has been asking lots of questions about the writings here so I have been laying low. I was trying to remember if I ever worked with this Carnie fellow but I just do not remember. But I do not believe if you were here for a full two years and only being a D staff that you would still be employed with DBA. At 2 years you should be at least an A but you could probably slide with a B or maybe a C but not a D. Seems like also today the passport score has to be high or you will also be booted. Today you would be forced out with a D after two years or if your passport was lower than ninety one percent. Not doubting the previous post but I am just stating that it is a new company at least for now.

    As for the Green Pea post yes we have been much more lenient and for how long I do not know. We have been told to focus on employee retention for the time being. This has never been important in the past. Why would it be we are only interested in the bottom line and it has always worked in the past. I would like to see us put more of a value on all of our employees. That would include me. :0) Have you ever read other companies mission statements in which usually have somewhere incorporated within, Our employees are our greatest asset. The truth is without us D.B.A. would have nothing. If our leaders would just boost some of the perks like benefits or even the per diem I would be satisfied and so would many other people.

    Carnie Why did you leave and what are you doing now?

    As for the Survey I am sure it will be worthless as they have picked the people they wanted and I am sure will have a predetermined out come just as the reasons that people quit is in many times changed to something that it is not. Garbage in = Garbage out. To do this correctly to get an honest result they should poll all staff from the levels of C staff all the way down to J. As A, A+ and B staff are trying to make a positive and are at that turning point so they would be biased and anyone below the J level probably has not been here long enough to get a real taste and would not be a benefit. In order to receive true answers you must include all of the staff and not hand picked ones. Please quit fooling yourselves.

    We would also need a way to turn these surveys in that would be confidential. This could be via Fax, Mail or even email. The best way would to have them handed out by the PM’s along with a blank envelope and then the sealed envelope dropped in a vanilla folder located in the bird room without any names attached and then collected by the chief or a due date applied and mailed in with the weekly package. If there is anyone on the beach or in between projects this survey could be emailed to them and the requirement that it must be mailed Post Marked by XX date. I believe a staff member should compile the information as confidential and then the results sent to the proper decision makers.

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  59. I am surprised at all of the responses since my last post. To juice-eye, when I said get your numbers, I ultimately meant go out on the floor and implement strategies to help the client save money, rather than go out and "manufacture" the numbers or merely get them for reporting purposes in the internal. As for $2.00 posts concerning my thoughts, first, it's CARNEY, not carnie, as I believe the second spelling is used to refer to carnival workers which I currently am not. If you say that the company is different now, and a D staff would not be around for two years, I believe you. I was on analysis often, and on the beach a bit, which may have played into my rank somewhat, but ultimately, my rank is irrelevant other than to illustrate that I am credible with regards to understanding what all of your concerns are. I left because I'm an idiot and thought I wanted to spend more time with the wife.

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  60. I worked for DBA and have since moved on to another career. However, I can relate to these comments.

    The sad thing is that once you are in the DBA job it is difficult to get out. Not because you don’t want to, but because when you do your interview, you definitely do not make enough money to jump out within a couple of months. That is unless you wait until bonus, which is why turnover is so much higher at those times of year.

    With that being said…I will take you down memory lane. My PM’s were assholes, and so were the lead staffs.

    1. The only way to get ahead is to push the other person in front of the bus, and you better be ready to do it to anyone.
    2. Lie and swear to it. The best line from a PM was to tell the client B.S. They won’t know the difference! They are uneducated on our process, so how can they challenge you.
    3. Another great tip is to develop the most elaborate spread sheets that only the most knowledgeable person can understand. This way they have no idea of how to follow the “ Numbers”.
    4. CUT HEADS …F UP everyone else’s life by pushing for terminations and lay offs. This will definitely get you moved up in rank. Chances are once the check has cleared the company will rehire them, so don’t worry too much. Maybe they haven’t committed suicide yet.
    5. Work long days and drink heavily, at least that’s what most of the PM’s, AM’s, and Chiefs will do. Although, if they don’t drink you can bet that they are recovering alcoholics, but that isn’t in the brochure.

    So…How do you leave?

    Everyone knows what the score is here, and if you haven't figured out how to win then you just need to figure out how to jump off. Working for DBA makes it difficult because when do you have time to interview for another job, you’re not up to job searching when you only have 48 hours at home-- and that only counts airport to airport.

    On a positive note, and believe it or not there can be one; you will learn a lot. Don’t be afraid to use them a long the way. Document everything you learn and get the Hell out. They would do the same to you to save a dollar.

    Keep the info flowing…I hear they are listening, but not so they can drive improvement. Just so they can ostracize the talkers inside. To my friends still with DBA, and I have plenty.

    Remember ASS is LAST

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  61. I want my $2.00 & True Staff Report,
    Yes, they are asking a lot of questions. The fun part for myself, is that they really have no clue to my identity. I thought they would have figured out who I was by now when I made comments on shares, but they are clueless (I'm just looking for a reason to leave). I actually think that the little asian guy should come and join the forum!
    I have to say that most of the associates we have will leave DBA better prepared to become "good managers", but only if they apply themselves and learn as much as they can. Some people leave and think they are great because they were able to get some results in an area. Let's all remember who gets the results...it is not the DBA associate, it is the client! We just facilitate and guide. So remember, when you go to interview somewhere else and are asked how you got the results, please do not say "I installed a schedule control." That is the most lame answer you can give.
    Someone mentioned a "Mission Statement"??? What Mission Statement? Do we have one? I thought it was one word, "Greed." Enough said.
    Trus Staff, care to name some of your PMs, or at least the worst one?
    Believe me, a lot of DBA uppers are looking at this blog. I just wish that one would have the balls to come in and join the fun!

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  62. I couldn't pass this up. Today (Monday Oct 16) in the USA Today in the Across the USA section under North Carolina: "A Durham County sheriff's deputy is among five men facing charges after a raid at a bar he owns. Michael Owens faces charges including trafficking cocaine, authorithies said. The other four men were bar employees or regular customers."
    Can anyone else see the irony?

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  63. Phil,
    You mentioned all the great stuff about DBA, why don't you share with us the reason why you left. You stated the following:"I still sometimes long for the pressure and the excitement of the job"... was that before or after working for Dean Lampman? He is an example of a DBA molded machine that management left around way too long to damage dozens of good people. Is that what happened to you Phil?

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  64. Funny you should say as Dean remembers CARNEY. I believe the statement was, Has he lost any more ass?
    Speaking of ass I was around ---- a chief today and this gentleman had horrible and terribly offensive gas. I truly almost had to quit because of it.
    You know it will not be long until the annual meeting. If we are still here we need to all sit at the same table. What kind of trouble could be caused.

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  65. Oh and it looks as if the federal per deim allowance allowed may be rising once again foor 2007. Woooopie.

    Does anyone know if we have a cafeteria plan and if not why not?

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  66. Lampman & Amonette are moving up in the world, they made it to Proudfoot.

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  67. My $2,
    They would love to "catch" all of us at the same table. Dean made it to Proodfoot after getting canned at another management "mill" consulting company. We could start a blog just on him. Carney should tell us more about his experiences with Lampman. I could share a few as well but that might shed too much light on who I am.
    The per diem is embarrasing. I know people who make less than us and have small expense accounts. The sad thing is that PMs can't even take their client out to lunch (not dinner) and voucher it.

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  68. Damn... I must admit, $2 and Fletch, this is some compelling reading. You ask the real reason I left, and it is as I said. I needed to spend more time with my family (wife). As for Dean, he lives around the corner from me and is an interesting subject in and of himself. Please $2,explain your comment "...as Dean remembers Carney..." I worked for Lampman only briefly on a couple occasions, and am curious what exactly you mean. Thank You for spelling my name correctly $2, and since leaving DBA, I have lost 20 pounds of ASS as a matter of fact.

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  69. That is sad. I was speaking just last week to the VP at another large consulting firm and when he found out that that no expense account exist for PM’s he was just beside himself. As for the daily allowance could not believe that we would work for that amount. He commented, for the pay and the amount of the per deim you must be not playing with a full deck “stupid” or just not know any better. He is right. He says their company views the higher per deim as some what of a benefit as they want their employees to stay healthy. The per deim can be used for many healthy things as well as relaxation that you need after working so many hours. This company that I am speaking with wants to Dismantle DBA and states that they would offer better $ to anyone that has 14 months service or more. He believes that everyone is in a strong learning curve for the 1st 14 months. He is requesting contact info for each with a finders fee if they come aboard. Just the 52.00 daily per deim would be worth it. How tempting it is.

    The comment about losing 20lbs of ass since you have quit. I bet that is in part by getting back to a little gym exercise and not eating at McDonalds and being able to purchase that lean steak and salad instead of the value meal.

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  71. Carney I did not mean to seem as if I was cracking on you. That is not the purpose of this board. The purpose is to uncover the truths that Chimera does not tell you and the DBA facts. Now if you were to be a Lampman, Phillips or a Webber it may be different.

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  72. Phil,
    I am so sorry that you actually live close to Dean. If you have a dog, please walk him by his house and let him shit in his yard.

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  73. Somebody just told me about this blog and I had to check it out. I just have a couple of things to say about Good-old DBA. First, I was on the NAVAIR project and becuase nobody knew what was going on, it was shut down. For 2 weeks we had to go to the birdroom and just sit in there for 10 hours a day. We were not to do any work. No joke, we were also not allowed to work on anything personal, or play computer games. We just sat there for hours and hours and hours. After 10 days of that I had to quit with no other job lined up. Really, how stupid was this? Why even send us?

    Second, I would like to make mention of all the lies. There was tons of them. However, my favorite was the laptop. When I asked if I needed a laptod they told me "NO". When my PM called me for my first assignment, the first thing he asked me was, "Do you have a laptod?" He did not ask me how I was doing or about my background. He asked me if I had a laptod. Speaking of laptods, what kind of company makes employees use their own internet provider? On top of that, how do you only have 1 phone line for 4 people to use for calls and dial-up internet? And whats with the email addresses? How hard would it be to provide a DBA email address. How freaking unprofessional is it to go to a client and give them a yahoo or google email account. And what is with the cell phones. Hey project manager, "quit calling me on my freaking cell phone!" I have never in my life used so many freaking cell phone minutes.

    I am going to stop so I do not get all fired up.

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  75. As an ex employee I must say this blog brought back some fond memories of DBA. Just make sure you guys include the word "Dewolff, Boberg and Associates" so anybody that wants to google the company can find this blog. I wish I had done that before I started, I found some really interesting lawsuites against the company. I think they really screw most of their clients. I can remember some of the idiotic things my PM and the senior staff did to their clients. I will never forget my PM screaming so loud at his associates on the factory floor that the entire production line stopped to hear. The Plant Manager had to talk to him about this. I know that at most other companies this sort of behavior would get you fired, but not at DBA. Or the time the senior staff told the Plant manager to pick someone to fire the 2nd week of the project. There are some really great people at DBA though, its sad that upper management is so poor, maybe they sould hire their own management consulting company to fix things. Of course what can you expect when you have chiefs whose only experience prior to the consulting job is managing Pizza Huts.

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  76. DBA offers you the ability to learn a difficult skill. Yes, you must make many personal and moral decisions during your time served. But, I equated it to being a surgical-intern. You are basically paid a stipend and minimal insurance. But, no other organization will put you in front of the top client as fast. Yes, you will sink or swim - Ultimately that is will be your decision. My time at DBA was trying. But, I have alot of pride knowing I survived. DBA makes you a highly marketable comodity - people respect the hell you go through. You need to consider the environment that you will be working in. Any assignment in the industry will be uncomfortable. But, compared to DBA it will be cake. Suck it up and learn then make an educated career decision. They are paying you to learn. P.S. I worked with high intensity Phil and he helped me alot. Thanks Phil.

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  77. Thanks Bounty Hunter, I never threw anyone under the bus (intentionally) and I am proud of that at least. I didn't take your comments as derogatory $2, and even if I had, I could care less when the comments are from an anonymous poster (you or anyone else). I think you and Fletch definitely know what your talking about and have some good points, I never meant to imply that life at DBA is all roses, nor do I believe that PM's, Chiefs, or anyone else up top shits gold boullion simply because of a title . If the purpose of this blog is to help people make informed decisions and not to choose DBA, I think $2 is on the right track when he/she alluded to another similar company who may be hiring where the conditions may be better. If anyone knows of such companies, or has had a positive experience somewhere else, please post it so that people can make a choice. Just a thought...And Fletch, if I take the time to drive my ass down to Groveport by Dean's house, I would be the one taking the dump on his lawn, not the dog. Keep the comments coming all...

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  78. Phil. You must have read another blog. After reading my last Blog - I didnt see anything negative concerning you or your conduct. Ex DBA'S have a good idea who each of the bloggers are.

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  79. I'm not sure, but Bounty Hunter sounds like a "mold" trying to make us say who we are or give clues out.
    I'll give you some feedback on other management consulting companies. There are several and it is true that they will usually offer better base pay and per diem. Just be aware that the grass is not always as green as it seems. DBA does 2 things better than the competition: healthcare and beach pay. Other companies will beach you without pay and notice and have terrible healthcare. If you have enough experience (3 to 5 years), some will probably let you come in on Mondays. These consulting companies mostly operate the same way. The asshole PM you had at DBA could be your next PM at another comapany. The Brooks Group comes to mind as being ok, there are more. Do you shopping and ask a ton of questions.
    I really wish that someone from DBA management would openly join the blog; I know the little asian guy is just dying to. Michael, how do you feel about being referred to being "little."

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  80. The term is "Mole". Also, I dont care where others end up. All I was doing was backing up Phil's point of view. It sounds like your upset with the whole industry. Why dont you leave. Life's rough - get over it.

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  81. You are right..."mole", long day is no excuse. The industry is what it is. In my postings I have talked about the positives as well as the negatives. People who have drive can be successful at DBA, I am an example of that! It is maybe time for me to move on, but I would never go to another management consulting company.
    How long did you survive DBA? And if you are truely gone, why not share your name?

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  83. Everyone calm down... the fight's out there!!
    I'm an avid fan of this blogsite or whatever its called. lets keep the focus on the bashing of DBA and not one another. Who else has a "chief screwing off" story? I got about 20 of them. Who wants one... raise your hand?! Since the decision makers are watching this site, lets give them something to ask questions about - like, oh I don't know - naming a chief (JC) who makes over $150K / year yet who sits in the birdroom playing dungeons and dragons on his laptop. Hey guys, great utilization of labor resources at that level. Really effective! When savings suffers - don't look too much further!!
    How about a chief (BP)who has no approach to a project and upon risking its demise throws the PM and leadstaff under the bus in front of the senior chief to save his own ass. Then leaves the site at 3pm everyday after he puts in his 8 hours of nothing - absolutely nothing!!!

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  85. After reading the last post, I have been thinking about stories to share. Perhaps I will go dig up my old roster (oops, am I supposed to say have that?) and reminisce...Also, this is the thing I love about ANonymous blogs; I could be Phil Carney, or I could be Leon, you just never know. Hey, Fletch, you might even be Mike Owens, we'll never know, and that is what makes it interesting.

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  86. Phil,
    Good point...I could be Michael Owens, that would be funny. I would change a few things if I was Michael. First, I wouldn't buy such a big boat for a small guy and I would also work on improving my accent (I can't understand 5 words in a row).
    It is interesting that you mention the roster. They always wonder how we get them. Let me tell you how; the senior chiefs give them out because they do not want to be disturbed by a staff or PM calling and asking for a number while they are playing computer games (that might affect their productivity!).
    I do not hate Dewolff, Boberg and Associates, I just enjoy telling the truth about them and having a good time.
    John mentioned "BP", I assume Brian "I have no personality" Phillips. Yes, he will save his ass no matter what. He is worthless as a chief. I haven't seen him in a while, is he still a sharp dresser? (ha ha).
    I know some of you looking at the blog might be afraid to tune in. Please do not be shy. Share some of your birdroom stories / nightmares.

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  87. Stesnovich or however you spell it. I am jumping up and down raising my hand. Tell me tell me. What about a certain project in which the games were with the PM and SR. Staff in which were all friends that had points for the most and biggest BBW they could pick up and had the others rate them in order to get points added the PIP. The most, fattest and the ugliest. Anyone on that project want to chime in? Oh and seems that a certain chief might even know about this. Upon reading this blog I know at least one of you are aware of the project I am talking about. I was struggling to keep up on my pass port and pip but could never keep up with a PM like this.

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  88. I knew the scoring of the Passport was bullshit but I never envisioned having to "date" the ugliest possible woman to score. I have done some sick things, but that is low. I assume that goes for co-workers as well? (we do not get many good looking women). Who was the PM?

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  89. Good Riddance DBA, I know of one chief that worked at Pizza Hut. He is the king of mustache rides, right? He also walks like he is carrying coins in his left hand at all times. As far as the PM explosion on the floor...what was that like? I've seen it plenty. There was one that I heard of from a new PM, but no one did anything about it. Will we all be attending the Xmas party in January? I can't wait for that..is anyone bringing a stripper this year (as their "date")? I'm fairly new at DBA, but the experience has been interesting. I will say I've learned more on this job than any other. All of the posted is very accurate and refreshing to hear the frustration of other fellow staff. Just keep in mind that "DBA owes you nothing". I've lived by that and have quit giving a shit a long time ago. I ask one thing...do all PMs use our Update Points to make them look like a genius in front of the Top Client?

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  90. I can answer the question about the update points. A good PM will tell the client that the update point is teh result of the work of his/her people while working with the staff person. Only a weak insecure PM would try to make themselves look good off of your hard work.
    Strippers and the Christmas party go together!
    Who is teh chief with the coins?

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  91. Fletch, the chief is JC. Not my favorite, but nevertheless a greedy chief. I'm debating to bring my wife to the DBA xmas party...but at least she'll see that there is such a company call DBA.

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  92. Z99,
    JC is average in terms of greed. You should bring your wife if it is your first year at the party (why do they call it "party", it is more of a pain to hear the same speeches and lies year after year after year...).
    Little asian guy, how many million do you project in your pocket this year?
    This survey shit really sucks. One more unmeasured untested way of looking for excuses to demote or promote someone. Does Dewolff, Boberg and Associates really think it through?

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  93. Did JC really work at Pizza Hut? Was he the "logistics manager" there? (translation: delivery guy)?

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  94. Speaking of the Christmas party, can I have 10 minutes to speak to the group?? You will find out who I am and I won't care about the consequences.. I'll make it my last day (someone once told me I could do anything I wanted on my last day). I think some of you wouldn't be a bit surprised of who I am, but most of you will fall on your ass (little asian guy won't have far to fall).

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  95. Lets talk about senior chiefs. I know you do not see them often since they are so busy strategizing on how to spend their money, but they are an important part of our lives (ok, that was bullshit). I rather have an absent senior chief than one that continuously tells lies and brings your hopes up of a promotion or increase in ranking. So basically, it stinks in the "fish bowl"!

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  96. Fletch,
    When you leave I assume you will have something lined up for work.

    That being the case will you take me with you?

    Be a bit careful with your hints.

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  97. $2.00,
    What hints do you think I should be careful about? I always appreciate a warning on a potential problem!
    Unlike some, I have enough bonuses put away that I am not worried about not having a job. That said, you could ask why I stick around! I'm not being bothered by anyone so why leave all this!
    Seriously, I like what I do most of the time. I just don't like the greed. I am more or less left alone most of the time, so I don't stress out. If I had a Dean or a Brian I would go nuts and just leave.
    For all of the new people that are expecting your 2nd $5k bonus, be aware. As the beach grows, you could become "savings". Does anyone need clarification?

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  98. i was refering to the fish bowl.

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  99. Oh yes please clarify. These new shits have been getting away with murder and making quite a bit more money thun I when I was new or at the level they are. Hell it took me a long time to reach that 10K level and I had to work for it.
    How about a slow screw. And they wonder why they are not getting the kind of work out of us like they used too. or better findings in the analysis. I would be happy if they would just raise the per day allowance it might even keep a few of us around. I hear everyone has been on analysis must mean more work unless everyone is keeping up with the promises made to each other about not so good studies. This is the only way anyone will pay attention. I still am not able that people are still working these 20 hour plus days.

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  100. I have a new one. You all know the commercial "lost another one to dietech"? Now it is "lost another one to Closky". I heard he lost another PM. Closky is not a bad guy, he is a pain sometimes, but he has a problem holding on to PMs for some odd reason. Not sure he can explain it either.

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  101. Where will the Christmas "party" be held this year?

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  102. Leon's backyard... gotta keep the share value up :)

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  103. Speaking of the Christmas Party... Multiple Choice: Why are we having the party in January?
    A. Because it is cheaper
    B. Because it is better for our wives / girlfriends / husbands / boyfriends
    C. Because we didn't book early enough and there was nothing available in our price range
    D. Becasue Avis ran a special that weekend to make it cheaper for us to get to the party
    E. All of the above

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  104. I have been reading this blog for several months and have found it very entertaining. I have little advice to offer on how to survive and succeed at DBA, I have no idea how I did it as long as I did, I have however found a book that everyone in the company should take time to read (even Owens)it's called "How to work for an idiot survive and thrive...without killing your boss" written by John Hoover. enjoy

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  105. The correct anwser is A.
    Has anyone noticed BP's new attire?

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  106. Someone mentioned Closky... If you have been part of his entourage for any time, you will relate to... THE TOP 10 REASONS KEVIN CLOSKY SHOULD NOT BE A CHIEF, LET ALONE A SENIOR CHIEF:
    1. He is intimidated by people who are smarter or more educated.

    2. There is the DBA way and then there is the Closky way – associates who are successful with clients and PM’s under different chiefs are penalized for doing things in the DBA way under Kevin.

    3. His turnover rate is double all the other chiefs.

    4. He bullies the clients and thrives on throwing them under the buss rather than establishing a partnership with them.

    5. Kevin fires associates just to show clients “See – I can do it – I’m doing my part, now it’s your turn”.

    6. Kevin feels the need to demonstrate that he is physically and athletically superior to his associates and PM's through “Forced Fun”. Napoleon complex…

    7. He has no regard for HR policies and employee rights, often falsifying right-ups after the associate signs it and then states “associate refused to sign”. This is due to his cowboy / Tony Saprano self-image.

    8. Closky does not build associates up, but continues to degrade, and abuse them verbally and mentally until they quit or he fires them for no reason.

    9. His is a classic case of, "I was never cool, so I am going to bully, belittle, and intimidate everyone I can due to my position".

    10. True leaders inspire and motivate, Kevin Closky will never have the skill set it takes to be a leader, no matter how many Pritchert books he reads on how to become one.

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  107. Old School,
    Wow, you obviously know Closky well. I think your points are on target. No one could argue those, even Closky. I liked the comment on him being a bully and having to demonstate that he is physically superior to his associates. He is also a product of the fish bowl which explains some of his behavior (but not all). Write ups are probably not the only things he falsifies (Staff Reports and bogus base lines for savings come to mind).

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  108. Kevvie Closky is a fat little ginger. Mcmansion, Hummer, little cost cutter haircut. No edge to guy at all! He wouldn't know what to think or say if he didn't have Fox news and Steven Fish telling him what to do. I hear from the other cheifs that he gets boners at the cheifs meetings. This is me... falling down laughing!!!

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  110. Hi guys,
    Anybody been told yet that they will be working Christmas? I have been thinking and I believe that you should have the 10 minutes maybe even 15. I believe I will do the same with the exception that I have pictures to go along with my departure. Yep those of you that know what I am talking about I will be having duplicates made and will present these at the party while all of the wives are present. Oh and for the two that normally does not bring the wives I Will at the same time I am standing to give my speech be pressing send on my cell phone to send a copy to yours. I just wonder if there will be a black mustang at the party again this year.
    Has anyone else noticed many new hires under the 10K rule suddenly disappearing lately? Is this savings?

    PS. To the decision maker, hey we have busted our ass this year and I believe not only that we deserve it but have earned the right of negotiation of a higher per deim for this upcoming year. If not then how about the negotiation of both employee paid short and long term disability insurance instead of each of us having to individualy buy it on our own.

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  113. Slow Slow Slow week. What pictures are you referring to?

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  114. Hi all, I just heard about this site. Awesome! As a former employee I have been laughing my head off reading all of your comments. I look forward to sharing some stories with you soon!

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  115. Anyone heard about security being needed at the party? How did rankings go? Was any savings available? It has been quiet maybe the pictures scared people?
    The pics are from the women met at the bar and the competitions in order for rankings.

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  116. You put negotiate and DBA in the same sentence...that doesn't mesh well. Hope you all have fun at the party, I just got a job offer yesterday! I'm sorry that I will not see my second half of the 10k. I am actually at work this week.......can you believe that? Newbies will keep dropping off...believe me. The longer you're in this (DBA) the harder it will be to get out. It's kinda like the mob, except a lot less money.

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  117. DBA calls it savings when someone leaves behind $5,000. I have heard the 'uppers' (little asian guy being one) that they would rather keep people 6 to 18 months than longer. It becomes too expensive to keep A, B, and C staff around too long. Not only $$$ but because they wise up!
    $40 per diem is reasonable, maybe it will be our present this year.

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  118. Let me know if I am getting my 10 minutes, I want to be prepared...

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  119. Sure you can have your 10 minutes but it must be with in the 1st half of the meeting. (Not the closed door meeting). If you will do it then I will also. Lets not fail to bring up the matter that when asked questions of how things are going, how long do you really work on analysis and the questionnaires that were passed out that most of us were instructed of how we were to answer these questions prior to being asked. That kind of pissed me off. How can one get the real statistics if you are told to answer in a certain manner?

    Just a few more hours to the big event. I will see you all.

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  120. dba...........What can I tell you????Listen up. If I were a client that hired DBA The first thing I would do is Monitor the Internet in the "birdroom". The PM's and Cheifs waste more time on the internet then producing results for the client. As far as those analysis go......McNealy is a homo. I should have filed a sexual harassment suit against him. How many other "bosses" come to your hotel room at 11:00pm to discuss your multi colored report of green/blue/magenta/yellow and red!!!

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  121. "Another one lost to Closky"

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  122. In September of 2006, I got a message from Steve Fish. "...if you send that blog link to anyone else, I will kill you." I had sent it to one person. Another PM. But the message was loud and clear: Management was watching.
    Now, I must say that at least 70% of the posts whining about per diem and so on are worthless. I suppose that those people expected to show up and be handed bags of money. You gotta work for your living, especially at DBA. There's no question about that. I (along with many others) put in the long hours in truly lousy conditions to learn the process. We constantly fought managers who were resolute in their fight against change. You know that feeling when you go into the supervisor's office and it's time for the DSC tour, but you know that they're going to give some half ass excuse for why it is totally unnecessary. But by the end of the project, you “catch” them checking on hourly production? I love that. Teaching people to manage with data, that’s the thing. When Phil Carney talks about “go get your numbers,” I relate. He’s dead on with acknowledging the fast pace of change that a DBA project.
    It’s true that I left DBA for another consulting company. Perhaps in future posts, I’ll discuss why.

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  123. I agree with your statement. I know that managing by the numbers is the right thing to do for the client and I really get satisfaction when a group of supervisors and managers use the tools we teach them. That said, DBA takes advantage of their staff. We all know it and we all put up with it because we get a feeling of accomplishment, and no amount of per diem can replace that.
    The fact that they are so paranoid about this blog is worth the small per diem as well...just love it.
    What is sad is that you tolerated Fish saying "I will kill you." Are you treated that way at your current company?

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  125. Fletch - of course I "tolerated" his comment... because I wanted to leave the company at the time of my choosing. And to your question of my new employers - they treat me like a professional. It's amazing, really, when I reflect on my time at DBA, to remember what people put up with. DBA talks about "Stockholm Syndrome" as it relates to the client. Truth is, after being in the company the Associates begin to think/behave like hostages. I know that I would tell the latest Closky story to friends at home (ATK Radford, anyone?) and they would stare back with this blank look and continue to ask why anyone would put up with it. I completely agree with John Tesnovich when he talks about using the DBA experience to improve your skills and resume. That is exactly what I did. Honestly, there is no way I could have secured my current position/salary before DBA. So I am glad I worked for the company. I truly believe that there are good people doing good things at DBA – and that includes management. I learned a ton. But, after working for Closky for a couple of years, I had to make a move. I sought advice from an ex-PM who I worked with and respected about how to get out. He told me to get my Lean / Six Sigma Black Belt and helped me to improve my resume. After I got my certification, I had no problem choosing from several employers.

    And, actually while I’m referencing other posts, Old School DBA’er nails the Closky experience. Especially the “Leadership” question. I’ve yet to read a book on leadership that endorses any of the tactics I personally witness/experienced from him. Note to any PM working for Redman: make certain you fire someone. Don’t worry; it doesn’t have to be justified. On my last project, he told me I had messed up because I hadn’t turned anyone over. I asked him who he thinks I should’ve fired and he told me that I should’ve popped a staff that Closky claimed he had seen eating a sandwich in a supervisor’s office. Seriously. I was left speechless. The project was over 200% saved and the clients were installed (they still email me the Savings Eval and Op Rpt and continuous improvement has been sustained). But my performance was being judged on my failure to fire a person eating a fictional sandwich (it bears noting that the staff in question had contacted Fish with some issues he was having that pointed to Closky’s management – coincidence?) . So when Brian Fletch says, “I heard he lost another PM. Closky is not a bad guy, he is a pain sometimes” that just tells me you’ve probably never worked for him.

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  126. i have 2 questions for the group.

    1. if you had a family member who was a plant manager for a manufacutring plant would you recommend db&a to them? Why or why not?

    2. if you had a family member who was thinking of a career change, would you recommend db&a to them? Why or why not?
    Management should pay attention to the answers.

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  127. Max Power,

    1. if you had a family member who was a plant manager for a manufacutring plant would you recommend db&a to them? Why or why not?
    Wow, are you serious? That is a loaded question. Depends on how big the plant is, are they looking for a quick improvement to sell off later? Are they really looking for long term improvements? Go through the analysis for the 1st week at least to see if he clicks with the chief, pm, and staff. Ask for resumes, insist that all staff have at least 6 months experience with DBA, and that all green peas are not billed (you shouldn't have to pay for DBA training). There are also other companies that offer a less agressive approach. To me, the most important thing is the relationship between PM / Staff and clients, so watch out for that.

    2. if you had a family member who was thinking of a career change, would you recommend db&a to them? Why or why not?
    Management should pay attention to the answers.
    Overall YES. Someone wrote earlier: "come in and get trained, sharpen your skills, learn, and leave"... as long as you can afford to live on $40k and take the abuse. I love giving out all the negatives on DBA, but I admit, I have learned and have enjoyed some of my projects. The upside and downside is that you will work for some good people, but the assholes will really stand out.

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  128. Clayton,
    I have worked with Closky before, you should know that. I'll call you tomorrow.

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  129. This year is the 20th anniversary of the "DBA per diem" and it hasn't aged a bit. It was $30 then and it looks like 30 today!
    What did the per diem get you 20 years ago? Back then you could have 40 shirts dry-cleaned; today, maybe 15. Back then, breakfast, lunch, and dinner; today, maybe lunch and McDonalds for dinner.
    What will it look like 20 years from now? Probably the same if we keep up the healthy asian diet we have.
    Happy birthday!

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  130. On the subject of the "chefs". By the way, the chiefs will now be known as the chefs. Oohhhhh, I'm sorry---or is it the account executives!! Fucking Pikers!!
    All the chefs.... and I mean all the chefs hate one another. When they get together for the monthy circle jerk--they love to watch one another fail and get stomped on!! I know this for a fact. Need your own source--- just get one of these low rent assholes drunk and watch how they run at the mouth about all that company business that they aren't supposed to tell us staff level suckers. Since they have no friends - the staff is the closest they have to any real companionship besides their fat lazy whorish wives who get drunk at the January asshole convention and try to lure young staff away into a game of grabass with their Walgreens mascara and gurdled cottage cheese laden frame. By 11pm, its looks like someone has thrown an ugly grenade into that little get-together. Its like if Ronald Mcdonald and Sally Struthers had a kid and then that child was cloned! I have to go before I get mean.

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  132. Chippy, I agree with your comments on the learning experience you receive from working for DBA and I think the rest of you that have been around for a while understand that. I look at the experience as an opportunity to see how businesses run and better myself through trying things on another company’s dime. Also if you plan are to stay in this field you will need to get the experience if you want to move to a company that will compensate you for your efforts and DBA is one of those avenues that allows you this chance. Most consulting firms that pay decent money will not consider you with out experience and DBA provides you that avenue.
    A lot of talk has been around Closky and his poor management style and I will agree with the comments that have been made. I feel it would be in the best interest of the company to not have him involved with the management of the employees because he has no clue how to perform this task. You do have to give this guy credit for the amount of work that his does bring to the organization compared to the rest of the chiefs. This is why he is still around! His cut you down and threaten your job on a continual basis would not be tolerated in most organizations and could eventually lead to a more drastic consequence, given the right person. My advice to the staff is to challenge him every time he tries to tell you something is wrong with your area because he tends to make false accusations to see your reaction.
    To answer the previous questions posted the first on would you hire DBA to perform a project at your plant. This questions needs to be look at by the complexity of the work needed to be performed. DBA can handle the easier jobs that involve manufacturing because they focus on constant interaction with the front line management to change behavior. For the rest of the areas that require some ability to think, you are better off paying a little more money to get the experienced consultants to help. A client that I dealt with after my departure from DBA put it best by saying DBA will provide a company with one or two people that know what they are doing and a bunch of staff that have no clue.
    My response to the second question is if you have a strong work ethic and look at your time with DBA as only a learning experience instead of a career choice then yes it is a good opportunity. The pay is not great and the hours are very long, but the knowledge is priceless. Do not plan on making it big with the company unless you have a lot of time to give.

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  133. Chippy, I agree with your comments on the learning experience you receive from working for DBA and I think the rest of you that have been around for a while understand that. I look at the experience as an opportunity to see how businesses run and better myself through trying things on another company’s dime. Also if you plan are to stay in this field you will need to get the experience if you want to move to a company that will compensate you for your efforts and DBA is one of those avenues that allows you this chance. Most consulting firms that pay decent money will not consider you with out experience and DBA provides you that avenue.
    A lot of talk has been around Closky and his poor management style and I will agree with the comments that have been made. I feel it would be in the best interest of the company to not have him involved with the management of the employees because he has no clue how to perform this task. You do have to give this guy credit for the amount of work that his does bring to the organization compared to the rest of the chiefs. This is why he is still around! His cut you down and threaten your job on a continual basis would not be tolerated in most organizations and could eventually lead to a more drastic consequence, given the right person. My advice to the staff is to challenge him every time he tries to tell you something is wrong with your area because he tends to make false accusations to see your reaction.
    To answer the previous questions posted the first on would you hire DBA to perform a project at your plant. This questions needs to be look at by the complexity of the work needed to be performed. DBA can handle the easier jobs that involve manufacturing because they focus on constant interaction with the front line management to change behavior. For the rest of the areas that require some ability to think, you are better off paying a little more money to get the experienced consultants to help. A client that I dealt with after my departure from DBA put it best by saying DBA will provide a company with one or two people that know what they are doing and a bunch of staff that have no clue.
    My response to the second question is if you have a strong work ethic and look at your time with DBA as only a learning experience instead of a career choice then yes it is a good opportunity. The pay is not great and the hours are very long, but the knowledge is priceless. Do not plan on making it big with the company unless you have a lot of time to give.

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  136. Tesnovich -
    Your description of the Christmas party is hilarious. I've been to 5 of them, and that pretty well sums them up. Perhaps my favorite memory was 2004 (I think) and I was in my hotel room that overlooked the courtyard. I heard some commotion at around 3:30 am and went to the balcony to see a certain (now ex) PM with his pants down around his ankles waving his genitals screaming, "Fuck you DBA!" Ahhh, good times.

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  137. My personal experience with DBA has been a great learning in all facets of my life. It has been a stepping stone in my career and for that I am thankful. I really wish I had left DBA because of the "travel".

    I had heard quite a few stories in the time I've been with the company, but I needed to see to believe it. Boy did I not only see it, but felt the pain. I guess as time goes on.. I'll share my story... but it's good to know this blog has arrived!

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  138. I have been offered an interview with DBA. Should I even show up?

    I understand that there is a lot of turnover. I work in an industry now that has a lot of turnover.

    For those of you who are still with DBA. . why do you stay?

    So here is what Chimera is currently selling. . .

    "The compensation package is a combination of base salary and bonuses
    1st year package averages $50 to $52k plus per diem
    2nd year package averages $55k to $62k plus per diem
    3rd year package averages $65k to $72k plus per diem
    Promotion to Project Manager takes an average of 3-1/2 years, with income in the $80k - $95k range
    Promotion to Chief of Operations averages an additional 2-1/2 years, with an annual income of $150k +
    Benefits including an outstanding health care package, 401k program, paid vacations and holidays are also provided."

    Is any of this accurate?

    What is the daily allowance for lodging? Is the per diem really $30?

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  139. Also. . Can I go home every Friday? I live near a major airport. What is this about "prior aproval" and "lowest advertised price".

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  140. Brghteyd,
    Regarding your questions. Since you have found your way here, we can assume that you've read the previous 100+ posts. They should give you a fairly good idea of the pros and cons to taking a job with DBA. While so I believe that some of them are a bit on the bitchy side, I can't really disagree with the accuracy.
    You pose several very detailed questions in your post. I think that if you read the previous posts, most will be answered. But I will focus on three of your questions. The ones I believe are critical, but have not been addressed previously. Question #1 "Should I even show up?" I say yes. When I interviewed with James LaRue (remember him? I think he might show up once or twice if you Google "DeWolff, Boberg and Associates"), I got offered a cup of coffee and it was delicious. Question #2 "Benefits including ... paid vacations and holidays are also provided." This is true, as long as none of the vacations or holidays fall on days that the plant is open.
    Question #3 "So here is what Chimera is currently selling. . . 1st year this much $, 2nd year, bla bla bla (paraphrasing)" Chimera calls those years/incomes averages. Average would indicate that some would be above and some below. So, can they give you the number of people who have done it in less time vs. more? They will probably cite Peter Schultz and Doug Caraway. To my knowledge, they are the only PM’s who have made in significantly less time than Chimera stated as the “average”. And neither has made it to chef yet. To the question of making it to chef in 6 years, again, ask for names. Fact is, 97% of the people who start at DBA in 2007 will not be there by 2008. I see you mention that you are in an industry with a lot of turnover, so I assume that means that it doesn't concern you. Rest assured that if the PM hears from the chef that you've been eating a sandwich in the supervisor's office, and that PM decides he will do anything to save his own job, you'll be another DBA statistic.

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  141. I'm just sitting here and reflecting on my time at DBA and I thought of some other chief stories. And since when they happened I didn’t want to confront the chief they call “Chief Walkumout,” and lose my job (I had seen first hand what happened to people who questioned Closky – even professionally and respectfully). But now the truth can be told.
    The year was 2006 and we were developing the base for a project. After I plugged in the numbers from accounting, Closky reviewed it and told me that I was dyslexic and fucked up the numbers (although I had linked them to the financial Excel spreadsheets and so couldn’t have inverted any numbers as he claimed). He then “fixed” the base and told me to take it to finance to have them review it. Amazingly, when they did, they found there were errors in the 6 weeks of data from before we arrived. When I went back and reentered those weeks, it showed that they had significant improvements over the previous year before we even walked in the door. I shared this with Closky who told me explicitly and painfully, "Don't fuck with the base." He promptly typed in some new numbers and sent me back to face accounting. Low and behold, they spotted the difference immediately. This back and forth happened several times until they must have thought that we were completely insane. I can only assume that KC either hoped they’d stop asking why those six weeks kept reverting back to the numbers that they could not find in their system anywhere, or he planned on stalling them long enough and they’d give up asking. They never did.
    At the beginning of my last project, the supervisors were not entering their standard hours in SAP regularly. Therefore, we would incur all the labor hours, but get no standard hours. This resulted in Productivity showing in the teens and negative savings. I told Closky that this was a concern and I was having my team make damn sure every supervisor put in their standard hours at the end of their shift. He told me to NOT do that, but focus on the DSC and Paretos and the savings would come. I told him that the savings were there, but if no standard hours were put in, it would never show. He explicitly told me not to do that. I, of course, told my people to do it anyway. And for the next 2 weeks, my staff did an excellent job of doing just that. We cashed in thousands of hours that had been earned, but not put in SAP. Our productivity on the 3 part graphs shot up and then continued to climb as the supervisors adopted the correct behavior and the MOS was being installed. Here’s the kicker – near the end of the project, Closky was bragging in the hotel lobby to a staff about how the project was fucked up and how he came in and “saved” it by kicking my ass. He boasted that supervisors weren’t putting their numbers in and I didn’t care, but he beat me up until I became enlightened enough to stress it. Kevin, if you are reading this, you and I both know that that is THE EXACT OPPOSITE of what really happened. Other people heard you instruct me not to focus on entering standard hours. But, of course, you never let facts get in the way of a good ass beating.

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  143. AKA brghteyd. . .

    Well, it sounds absolutely brutal. . and I have been in automotive mfg. for the past 7 years. Unfortunately, automotive is dying a slow painful death particularly in the unionized "Big 3" plants.

    I guess I will go ahead and do the interview though I can't see myself jumping out of 1 fire into another. I would probably end up punching "the little asian" or "the polish guy" in the mouth and getting fired anyway. Plus, I don't need my wife turning tricks to get by.

    We can all use interview practice and I will be sure to ask some pointed questions. Maybe he will realize what kind of bad press is out there. Maybe he will even care.

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  144. brghteyd and simp dog... Despite all you've read... I wouldn't miss the opportunity to interview... and in the event you decide to join DBA.. make sure you get all your facts being told in writing. I got screwed because I either misunderstood the facts.. or my Chief went back on his promise when I went on vacation and didn't get reimbursed on things I should have or was told I would have.

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  145. Chippy and Redman... I went through the same thing... except I wasn't far up on the foodchain... but definitely knew when the numbers for the base were wrong... and I was being measured against them. I found bugs in the reporting on my last project where people were being listed in my area during the base and generating large STD hours while after we got there they had moved to their correct cost center. I was told to leave the base alone and go out and get savings! Product mix and the way the STD hours were being calculated contributed to a high base. I brought this up as well... and told my Chief that the only way I could show improvements was to pull work forward and continue with the same product mix... wait... I didn't tell my Chief... I told my PM... cuz my Chief was too busy beating me up for the lack of detail on my daily plan... Good times...

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  146. simp dogg; if your going to ask some pointed questions, you can ask if you need a laptop computer and cell phone on your projectt. My pm calls me on my cell phone alot and uses minutes that I pay for. I asked for the company policy on expensing some of my cell bill and he showed me a policy that said I can voucher calling a message service or calling home for business messages. ? I guess I should get a message service and voucher it.
    You shoudl also ask why we give the client spreadsheets to put all their information in and they're supposed to link to some other report, but all the links break like every week, so we have to redo them all the time at the hotel late at night. I told the guy that interviewed me that I did not have any excel knowlege, really and he told me I didn't need computer knowledge. But now my Pm has me staying up all night tryi8ng to fix all his shit. when I was working on my managers computer trying to fix a problem, my lead staff saw me and yelled at me that I should be on the floor. My manager heard and told me he thought he was an asshole.

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  147. I haven't been here for a while but I see things are picking up. I will not bore anyone with the KC base numbers stories I have, since they pretty much reflect the ones already posted. I'm sure KC is crying "conspiracy", but he had to know that this type of shit would come up sooner or later. He obviously wanted later…maybe when he would turn Senior Chef. Let’s all keep in mind that his behavior is learned from the other corrupt people he has worked for. It is like a bunch of fish in the same bowl for a while, they all start stinking. I hope you all see the humor in that sentence!

    Max Power… your PM is a piece of shit for not letting you expense phone calls. May I suggest that you conveniently forget your phone at home next week? Ask him where it says in the “joke of a handbook” you have to have a phone when he gives you shit about not having one. Remind the asshole that the book was written when cells phones were barely seen.

    There is a lot of talk about KC, but remember that there are others like him in the bunch. Someone made a comment on how Chefs love to see other Chefs get their ass chewed out at the meeting, it is so true! I don’t hear that much about the newer Chefs on here, maybe it is because they are more human and have less greed then the other bunch.

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  148. Fletch you do have a point about the other chiefs... However, I have no knowledge on other chiefs. I see there is a lot of literature out there on KC... hopefully someone will come forward with factual stories on the others that have been "naughty".

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  151. This was on Careerbuilder.com today... hey, at least they train.

    "as one of the fastest growing consulting practices in North America, International Profit Associates has selected opportunities for individuals with demonstrated abilities and proven performance with respect to improvement of profits, enhancement of productivity, maximization of efficiencies, behavior modification and organizational development. If you have extensive general management experience, including P & L responsibility, and are able to diagnose, evaluate, and implement business solutions for value enhancement results, this may be the opportunity for you.





    First year earnings range from $65,000 to $85,000 with second year potential in excess of six figures as you progress into Project Management. Keep in mind, your travel expenses are covered.


    We are hiring for training classes beginning March, April and May.


    If you have the confidence and determination to make a difference in people’s lives, please review our website, www.ipa-iba.com to learn more about International Profit Associates and this opportunity for Business Consultant."

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  153. Chippy's Friend,
    If you know the ex-PM of whom I speak, then we both know that he is way above such prosaic feelings of "embarrassment" (and I mean that in the most respectful and envious way). I’ve even had calls from some who proffer the theory that I am the ex-PM in question. For the record, I have had many memorable times at the Christmas parties that I attended (well, memorable for someone, I’m sure - just not me). But this particular incident I was a witness to, not a participant.
    Side note: Has anyone else noticed that the man who started this whole thing, Aschapped, hasn't made an appearance in a long time? Does he even check this anymore? Does he know the firestorm he started? Can he imagine how 90% of the company checks this blog daily (with either glee or dread) to see what the kids have been saying in public now? I wonder...

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  155. YES I STOP IN FROM TIME TO TIME. AS I READ ALL OF THIS OVER AGAIN I CAN ONLY SIT BACK AND WONDER WHY WE DO NOT DO THIS FOR OURSELVES. I KNOW OTHERS HAVE TRIED. WE COULD COMPETE AND I KNOW WE COULD BE BETTER WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE. DBA IS NOT THE SAME COMPANY THAT IT USED TO BE 5+ YEARS AGO. I OFTEN WONDER OF HOW MUCH LOU KNOWS ABOUT THE COMPANY AND THE TRUTH OF WHAT IS GOING ON. I GOT A KICK OF THE QUESTIONAIRES THAT WERE PASSED OUT SEVERAL MONTHS AGO WHEN MOST OF US WERE INSTRUCTED BY THE CHIEF OR THE PM'S ABOUT THE PROPER ANSWERS THAT WE WERE TO PUT DOWN.
    AS FOR CHIEF WALKUM-OUT THE NEXT TIME I RUN IN TO HIM I HAVE DECIDED THAT I WILL BREAK HIS NOSE FOR THE GROUP. HE THROWS HIS WEIGHT AROUND AND BELIEVES EVERYONE IS SCARED OF HIM AS HE HOLDS THE CAREER PATH IN HIS HAND AND HE IS A FAIRLY LARGE GUY. OR AT LEAST A FAT BASTARD. BUT I AM NOT SCARED AFTERALL I HAVE DONE SOME BOXING IN THE PAST.

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  156. I SHOULD ALSO ADD TO THE LIST FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T KNOW THE NEW SAYING WHEN YOU’RE CHIEF ASKS WHERE SOMETHING IS, MANY OF US ARE RESPONDING BY STATING "IF IT WAS UP YOUR ASS YOU WOULD KNOW WHERE IT WAS AT NOW WOULDN'T YOU"
    WE SHOULD ALL BEGIN ANSWERING IN THIS WAY ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE JUST ASKING FOR BUSY WORK OR REWORK. WE ARE TAKING OVER!!! DBA CAN NOT OPERATE WITHOUT US WE ARE DBA!!! LETS TAKE OUR COMPANY BACK AND OUT OF THE HANDS OF THE THIEVING CONTROL BASTARDS.

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  158. What is this I hear that Mr. Slim Douglas is about to get a job shut down in Minnesota? Will he still be protected under the wings of Coley after this? I wonder if he has any clients at this project or if it is the same as the rest of his projects? I can remember his first project and he was almost fired but finally got taken in by Coley but only after he had NO clients. He was good at going to pick up people and supplies etc. Sorry Tim I had to bust your chops as you really are a piece of work and yes I will take care of your clients once again. How bout a game of tennis?

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  160. It amazes me how paranoid DBA is about this blog. If you took half the time spent reading the blog and applied it to managing your people the “right” way (not to be confused with the “DBA old school” way) you wouldn’t have to worry about the validity of what is in my PIP and Passport. It takes more than “ethics” training to clean that mess.
    You guys want the blog to go away? Than start treating your people, your only asset, the right way. I will personally stay away from here the minute the per diem goes to $40 per day and cab goes to $40 per week… oh, and Brian will have to buy new shirts.

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  161. YOU KNOW BRIAN I MIGHT ACTUALLY COME BACK TO DBA IF THEY RESPECTED US, DID NOT BEAT US UP SO BADLY AND BROUGHT THE PAY, CAB/PARKING, PER DEIM IN LINE. WHO KNOWS MAYBE I WOULD EVEN DELETE THE BLOG. BUT HELL EVEN WHEN YOU DO GIVE A 2 WEEK NOTICE YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE FOR REHIRE. HMMM I WONDER WHY PEOPLE JUST LEAVE THEM HANGING. WHAT’S THE BENEFIT OF GIVING A NOTICE?

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  162. AN OBSERVED APPROACH/BEST PRACTICE USED BY MANY SUCCESSFUL PMS/CHIEF’S.

    I HAVE A BROWN PAPER OF THIS APPROACH AND FLOW I RECEIVED FROM A SENIOR WITH DBA HERE IS THE BASIC VALUE STREAM:


    START AT BOTTOM OF THE ASSOCIATE LADDER (IF YOU CAN ACCEPT VERY LOW PAY COMPARED TO YOUR EDUCATION LEVEL USUALLY ABOUT 10.85 PER HOUR).

    IT SHOULD BE EASY TO GET A MANAGER POSITION IF YOU TRY TO GET ON A PROJECT THAT HAS A CADRE OF PRODUCTIVE EMPLOYEES CONTRIBUTING TO THE LONG TERM PROGRESS OF THE PROJECT.

    TYPICALLY THE ASSOCIATE POSITION IN THIS AN ORGANIZATION IS OPEN BECAUSE THE PREVIOUS ASSOCIATE HAS BEEN DISMISSED OR HAS LEFT BECAUSE OF BAD REVIEWS AND/OR NO PAY RAISES.

    THIS IS THE DIRECT RESULT OF NOT PLAYING THE DBA LADDER GAME PROPERLY. YOUR PREDECESSOR HAS TAKEN RESPONSIBILITY FOR PROBLEMS, WORKED LIKE A DOG 80 HOURS A WEEK, AND BEEN TOO BUSY TO ATTEND THE "OLD-BOY" MEETINGS.

    AFTER TAKING CHARGE OF THE DEPARTMENT, FIGURE OUT WHO YOU CAN GET RID OF QUICKEST. PRIORITIZING IS A KEY FUNCTION OF A SUCCESSFUL MANAGER: GET RID OF THE FOLLOWING, STARTING WITH NUMBER 1:

    1. THE MEMBERS OF YOUR DEPARTMENT WHO MIGHT REPLACE YOU IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE. (USUALLY YOU’RE MOST EFFECTIVE INTERNAL MANAGERS).

    2. THE ONE'S HAVE THE MOST SUPPORT BY OTHER CHIEFS, PM’S AND EXTERNAL CUSTOMERS. THIS IS TICKLISH - YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS THEIR FAULT (FIND AND PUBLICIZE THEIR ERRORS, GLOSS OVER ANY OF THEIR SUCCESSES).

    COZY UP TO THEIR CONNECTIONS AND MAKE SURE THAT THEY KNOW THAT YOU ARE DOING REPLACING THESE PEOPLE IN THEIR OWN BEST INTERESTS.

    BEST TO CHOOSE YOUNG GREEN PEAS TO REPLACE THEM AND DIRECT THEM ON THE BEST APPROACH TO KISSING THE CLIENT'S A-S.

    DON'T WORRY ABOUT LONG TERM PRODUCTIVITY OF THESE REPLACEMENTS, JUST NEAR TERM APPEARANCE OF PRODUCTIVITY, AS YOU WILL SEE BELOW.

    3. YOUR MOST EXPENSIVE PEOPLE. THE ONE'S WITH THE HIGH RANKINGS AND WHO KNOW THE MOST ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE DOING. (LESS COMPETITION)

    ACT QUICKLY AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT OVER DOING IT: USUALLY THE MANAGEMENT THAT HIRED YOU WILL BACK YOU IN YOUR INITIAL MOVES, OR ELSE IT LOOKS LIKE THEY MADE A MISTAKE BY PICKING YOU.

    MAKE SURE YOU ATTEND ALL OF THOSE HIGHER LEVEL MANAGER MEETINGS, AND ANY MEETINGS WITH TOP CLIENTS. YOUR VISIBILITY IS CRUCIAL. LEAVE THE WORK BELOW YOU TO THE WORKERS BELOW YOU!!
    IT WILL USUALLY TAKE ONE TO TWO YEARS FOR THESE KIND OF ACTIONS TO REALLY AFFECT THE PRODUCTIVITY OF YOUR DEPARTMENT. MAKE SURE YOU RETAIN ENOUGH HARD WORKING, NEXT LEVEL DRONES TO KEEP THE SHIP AFLOAT AND CARRY THE "TACTICAL" WORKLOAD LEFT BEHIND BY THE KEY PEOPLE YOU HAVE DISMISSED.

    DON'T WORRY ABOUT LONG STRATEGY (BEYOND THE NEXT PERFORMANCE REVIEW PERIOD).

    IN THE NEXT REVIEW, YOU WILL BE LAUDED FOR THE DRASTIC REDUCTIONS IN THE COSTS OF YOUR PROJECT. YOU WILL ALSO BE GIVEN ALL KINDS OF RECOGNITION FOR THE NEW LEVEL OF CUSTOMER SUPPORT PROVIDED BY YOUR BROWN NOSER CONTINGENT.

    THE MORE VISIBLE NEW PROJECTS YOU CREATE TO MEET YOUR CUSTOMER'S "PERCEIVED" NEEDS, THE BETTER. MAKE SURE THAT THE DELIVERY COMPLETION DATES OF SUCH PROJECTS ARE BEYOND THE END OF THE PROJECT OR AT LEAST YOUR NEXT RANKING SESSION. WE DON'T WANT ANYONE GETTING WISE THAT THEY AREN'T GOING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT IT (YET).

    BEFORE YOU GET THE GREAT REVIEWS AND RAISES BEGIN SEARCHING FOR THAT NEXT POSITION (PREFERABLY OUTSIDE THE COMPANY). MAKE SURE THAT THE SR. CHIEFS HEAR ABOUT ALL YOUR RANKINGS, PROJECT AWARDS AND COMPLIMENTS AS SOON AS THEY OCCUR.

    MAKE SURE THE NEXT POSITION IS WITH A LARGER CORPORATION AND MANAGING A LARGER NUMBER OF PEOPLE.

    FINALLY, MAKE SURE THAT YOU TAKE THAT NEW POSITION BEFORE THE DISASTER YOU HAVE CREATED COMES BACK AT YOU.

    ON YOUR WAY OUT, RECOMMEND YOUR BEST BROWN NOSER AS YOUR REPLACEMENT. HE/SHE SHOULD BE ABLE TO KEEP THE CHARADE GOING LONG ENOUGH (6 MONTHS) SO THAT IF YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER DOES CATCH WIND OF THE MESS YOUR OLD ORGANIZATION HAS BECOME, YOU CAN BLAME YOUR SUCCESSOR.

    FINALLY, START OVER AT STEP ONE AND REPEAT ALL STEPS.

    KEEP MOVING SO THAT THE DISASTER NEVER CATCHES UP WITH YOU.

    EVENTUALLY, YOU SHOULD BECOME CHIEF. GOOD LUCK,

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  163. I PROMISED I WOULD NOT GIVE THE NAME OF THE PERSON THAT WALKED ME THROUGH THE BROWN PAPER AS HE STILL WORKS FOR DEWOLFF BOBERG AND ASSOCIATES. I KNOW THAT HE RECEIVED IT FROM HIS CHEIF IN WHICH HE WAS UP CLOSE AND PERSONEL WITH. HE UTILIZES THIS METHOD QUITE WELL TO COACH THE CHEIFS/PM'S THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS NOT WORKING BUT HIM. WHEN IN REALITY HE DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL BESIDES SITS THERE IN THE OFFICE OR HIS ONE CLIENT’s THAT HE IS PERSONALLY ASSIGNED BUT RECEIVES CREDIT FOR THE OTHERS WORK JUST DUE TO HIS SR. STATURE. GUYS THIS GUY DOES NOT DO SHIT. “MANAGE HIM” HERE IS A CLUE OF THE PERSON I AM SPEAKING OF.
    USAGOLD-MIT

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  167. ROTTERSALL,
    Sid ain't talking to you, sucka!!

    Hey, by the way, nice ALL CAPS formatting! Was "the ginger" standing over you as you wrote that lil' peice? Did you write your staff report after that?
    I'll be back with more later. I can't decide where to start right now! But, thanks for inspiring me. Stay tuned!
    PS: Rottersall, go out to my car and get me my pumpkin bread!

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  168. John,
    So who is this joker? Call me this weekend.

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  170. Top Ten Responses to Rottersall:
    1. Your mother put me up to it!
    2. How much fucking kool-aid® did you drink?
    3. We were about to stop, but now… it’s on! Thanks!
    4. I still make more money than you… so SHUT THE FUCK UP - hahahahahahahahaah!
    5. I bet when the PA walks in the room, you pee just a little bit.
    6. Since you mentioned old ladies, how’s your wife doing? Tell her I said, “Hey ;-).”
    7. I admire you so much. Who saw “Fletch”? Come on!!
    8. When can I get a signed copy of your new book, “Whatever Fox News tells me, Dockers, Mediocrity and me-a memoir of a man who …. Who gives a fuck?!”
    9. Hey – did I mention that thing about your mom putting me up to it?
    10. I heard you DBA monkeys weren’t supposed to engage in this. So much for following orders with military discipline. There’s hope for you yet!

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  171. Rotter,
    Please do not confuse blackmailing the company with the company fucking you over a 20 year old per diem. Blackmailing would be more like sending a nice letter to all current and past clients with the link to the blog. So shut up! Follow the rules, and go back into the hole you came from and stop tempting me.

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  174. By show of hands, how many will still be around after those retention/bonus checks are cashed?

    Oh, and rotten/bitches please don't insult our intelligence by trying to pretend you have no stake in DBA. More to the point, if you have no stake and you took the time to go onto a website about a company you have nothing to do with, that's truly pathetic.

    Please excuse the people who have posted an opinion here anonymously just as you have for feeling that they should be allowed to express their opinion without being fired for it.

    And bitch, please don't express anymore of your fantasies on here. We aren't all into taking a high hard one from a "whorish wife" the way you seem to know so much about. This is a family blog.

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  175. Rottersall,
    Out of curiousity, were you abused by your chef for so long that you started to sound like him? Do you need some sensitivity training?

    Bitch up,
    I have my reasons for speaking out, and yes, I have voiced them before in an open forum, with no result. Read my past comments on my job satisfaction to answer your questions.

    I am happy to see that die hard believers can no longer sit back and read the blog. I'll be away for a while, hope you don't miss me.

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  176. Hey – by the way – make a fucking point next time you log on! And yes, I was abused and I am a coward-do everyone a favor, quit quoting people. You sound like a douche! Peace – I’m out here!
    PS: No one is logging on to hear you preach bullshit – they just wanna see who’s going to get offended next. Well, keep tuning in. This is too much fun!

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  177. WHO YOU TALKING TO THERE SWEETHEART?

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  178. Does anyone belive that whinning in this forum will cahnge anything. Yes you have to work hard at DBA yes you have to ask for help to improve and to grow, if after a month or so you can not produce a staff report within a 1/2 hour or so you need to ask for help. Analysis 1 week big deal do it do it well and go on. If you wish to join DBA ask questions of the Senior Chief who interviews you. No DBA is not perfect, no not everyone in DBA is perfect I am happy for those that have found a perfect organization. To change something work through your PM, Chief, AEO, Mike and/or Leon. Bitching here will do nothing for you

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  179. Those that wish to join DBA come with an open mind, a willingness to learn and a commitment to the company and client and you can have a rewarding career. The DBA process affects true change and savings for the client organization, the process works, but you have to be willing to learn and understand it.

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  180. You know, huey, that all sounds great and maybe that is what it si like on your project but i'm just tired of my lead staff condescending to me, tired of my pm playing video games (or on his cell phone talking to others about this blog) in the war room while giving me contridicting expectations making me work untill 1am just to tell me he really wanted something different and I did not understand him.

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  181. I like it when you call me sweetheart.
    I like it when you hold me.
    I like you, rottersall.

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  183. Go tell your mommy maybe she will give you a crying towel. Grow up.

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  184. Hey Tarzan – it’s called a tissue, you fucking ape!
    By the way – that was a quick response. This is how you spend your mornings... playing on the internet?
    Here’s a question: Where are the savings? They sure aren’t on this blog! Perhaps you should attempt to go find out where your supervisor is and see if he’s done a schedule check recently. The savings are on the floor, so why don’t you walk your ass out there and go get some so you have something to reporting in the internal.

    However, if you are a chief, then the internet is exactly where you should be--- I commend you on your commitment to the stereotype! Now, be a good lil’ boy and go fix your baselines!

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  185. Try facts not prevarication. Threats on a blog? Unique, silly but unique. Does profanity make you feel like a man?

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  186. WHAT KIND OF CRYING GAME YOU TALKING ABOUT THERE TESTICkLE?

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  188. DBA does specifically set staffing levels for a job. dont be stupid. So you are specialist in staffing when can we come to work for your successful firm oh yea if you could do what you complain about you would be a multi millionair. Oh poor baby did somebody treat you badly did you not get just what you wanted oh my. Now curse and show us all just how silly you really are. Oh by the way just because someone else does it does not mean you must. Oh I get it you are just a simple victim. Any one who would be swayed by this dribble is a fool.

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  189. Through all of the arguing and bad words and, most importantly, debate on the acceptable use of "crying towel", I decided that I'd let the great and powerful internet - truly the Solomon of our day - make the call. Is it just a tissue, or is it something more. So I went to Dictionary.com.

    "crying towel: A figurative towel for wiping the tears of a self-pitying individual. For example, ‘So you didn't make the first team? Get out the crying towel.’ This expression is always used sarcastically. [Slang; 1920s]"
    So it looks like JT got it wrong on this one. Hueyman has clearly won the moral high ground when it comes to throwing barbs from a bygone era. He’s the cat’s pajamas and JT’s all wet. So I then imagined Hueyman composing his blog sitting in the rumble seat of his jalopy, wearing a raccoon coat while strumming his ukulele.

    If you want to know more about the slang or anything else about the 1920’s, follow this link: http://local.aaca.org/bntc/slang/slang.htm
    And that’s ‘one to grow on’

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  190. Ha ha haahahahhaahhahaaa, hheeheheheheheheehheeheeeheeheehhheeheeh..... ah aha ha hahhahahaahahaahaah ,, hooohohohohhoh ahahah hahah (oh no - I'm peeing all over myself - ahahahhahahahahaha.

    Oh - that is good stuff!

    cats meow! Come on - you have got to admit, that is funny.

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  191. I have been reading this blog off and on since someone told me about it at the annual meeting and I must say, I think it is entertaining and it has given me some good laffs. I have not posted anything before because of all the questions recently about who is writing. But now I have decided to move on from DB&A, so if they find out who I am, it’s not such a big deal. I have been with Dewolff for a few years and worked for different PMs and Chiefs and I do not think they are all bad. If you read other people’s blogposts, they do say positive things --- and not just the posts from DB&A managers that are writing to defend the company. ALTHOUGH, AFTER ALL THIS TIME WITH THE COMPANY I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY MANAGEMENT LOVES ALL CAPS.
    I have had some moments during my projects that are as good as or better than anything you would see on a reality show. After I put in my notice, I will come back and tell some funny stories.
    I don’t want to say much more right now as I have already given some clues as to who I am and I would rather not end up on “The List”. I do think that the company is working to fix some things internally like training and the analysis nightmare. However, to everyone who keeps talking about the per diem = my money is on that figure never moving above $30 – especially now that if Leon did up the per diem, it would look like he did it because of all the complaining on this blog about it. And besides, with all the new hires coming in for the $30, they do not need to raise it.

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  192. Louise, Hueyman and Rottersall---OK – tell me how you set staffing levels at DBA. I could swear they are determined by the margins, not the clients needs. Show me on the operating report how that plan is developed based on the clients needs. Share with the group your story of how you manage your resources effectively. Because I can tell you that I have been told that I will just have to work 2 shifts covering 3 different departments, but never given the resource plan showing me how that gets accomplished. Can you show me the resource plan that also shows that as my fellow staff is leaving (103% turnover) that those planned rates are also managed?
    So now, call me a crybaby. I'm the guy who gets you your fucking bonus!!

    The only folks crying here are the ones who can’t answer questions soldier-boy!.
    Hey – Louise, how angry are you anyway - -whats the matter, legs starting to hurt again? So angry that you can’t form a complete sentence? Why don’t you answer his questions? I am really interested in how this little group of so-called loyalists plans on actually addressing these concerns. When we staff get some answers, perhaps we might be more inclined to support management. Don’t give me that – “leave if you don’t like it” shit. Answer the questions or admit that John is right. Because, from what I’ve seen, he hasn’t told me anything that I already didn’t know. He’s just putting it out there for everyone to see. Doesn’t sound like a victim to me.
    I and some of my fellow staff agree that we would like some answers. Even if the answers are ones we don’t like – start answering questions. You call yourself a leader, start leading!

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  194. Huey,
    If this is such a non-sensical blog, what are you doing here? Why are all the chefs checking this blog out on a daily basis?
    This was fun, I could even let my kids read it once in a while; but no longer can I subject them to the amount of stupidity want-to-be chefs are posting on this very FUN blog. Do you know why it is fun? Because it makes people like YOU come out of the closet and show what ass kissers you really are. Which ass do you like to kiss the most? The little asian guy, the bi-sexual one(s), the multitude of perverts, or the ones that screw their female staff while they move them up the ranks (we have a few of those that do the passport based on bedroom activities, not client related)?
    Leave us alone, let us have our fun, let us watch you debate over who is who, let us continue to make fun of you, and, last but not least, up the per diem.
    Brian Fletch

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  196. This is my perception of the Hueyman / John T. debate.
    Hueyman:
    "Try facts not prevarication."

    John T.:
    "I noticed that we keep addressing your “facts”, but you don’t address ours. Address what I laid out there and let’s get into a debate about the facts."

    Hueyman:
    "Grow Up"

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  198. Let me translate that for those of you who do not speak gibberish. Hueyman is trying to tell us that he agrees with all the points of contention that are posted. Please excuse him. Since he doesn’t have anything else to say, and he is boring me with his criticism, I’m going to ignore him until he (or she) actually communicates effectively.

    Addressing Hueyman, personally, one on one, since my words may be hurting your brain, let me translate for you, Gomer.

    You no say nothing I like.
    I no wanna talk to you no more, Ugh.

    Its Thursday… go get your package together and this time, don’t forget the cash-flow graph!

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